A few years ago, my husband, James, and I made a decision that has changed our spiritual lives.
We became Benedictine Oblates.
Until then, I had heard the word "oblate," but I wasn't entirely sure what it meant. I knew it had something to do with monasteries, but I assumed it was reserved for people who wanted to live a more secluded or monastic life.
I couldn't have been more mistaken.
An oblate is an ordinary layperson who becomes spiritually affiliated with a particular Benedictine monastery. We don't become monks or nuns. We don't take monastic vows. We continue living our ordinary lives in the world, but we strive to live the wisdom of St. Benedict's Rule according to our own vocation.
For us, that monastery is Belmont Abbey.
Long before the Abbey was our spiritual home, it was our home in another way. Just 40 minutes down the road from where we live in Charlotte, NC, Belmont Abbey was always a place with which we were familiar. We often attended Mass and Vespers there. Three of our nine children attended Belmont Abbey College, and my husband served on their Board of Directors. During that time, we developed a fondness and affection for the Benedictine monks of the Abbey.
Now, as oblates, we gather there after Mass once a month with fellow oblates for prayer, formation, and fellowship. Over time, it has truly become our spiritual home. It is comforting to know that you belong to an abbey where monks pray faithfully every day, and where you are continually encouraged to grow closer to Christ.
The pace of life there beckons us to slow down.
One of the greatest gifts of becoming an oblate has been learning to slow down.
Like so many people, I can easily become consumed by projects, deadlines, responsibilities, and the demands of everyday life. St. Benedict reminds us in The Rule that our work should always flow from our relationship with God, not replace it.
Written nearly 1,500 years ago, The Rule of St. Benedict speaks with surprising clarity to modern life.
James and I try to read a short portion of the Rule each day, along with a commentary that helps us apply it as laypeople. We've also incorporated Compline, the Church's beautiful nighttime prayer that developed within the Benedictine tradition, into our evenings whenever possible. These simple practices have subtly shaped our days in ways I never expected.
Humility and the Rule
If you've ever read the Rule, you know humility appears again and again. Although never an easy lesson to learn, humility has a way of exposing pride. I've come to realize how subtly pride can creep into my own heart, even when I believe I'm doing something good or serving the Lord. And yet I've also come to see that it's opposing virtue, humility, is also the foundation of peace.
In fact, there are many other ways that I have discovered that following a rule of life and recognizing where it can be applied brings a sense of peace and order.
Things like restraining my speech, accepting correction from others, and considering myself last may sound small, but reflecting on them regularly has changed the way I approach both my spiritual life and my relationships with others.
I think one of the most practical Benedictine teachings I have taken to heart (although it is still not easy) is:
"The wise man is known by the fewness of his words." (Chapter 6, The Rule of St. Benedict)
Becoming an oblate has enhanced my spiritual life.
Becoming an oblate has not altered my vocation. I'm still a wife, mother, grandmother, and writer. But it has given me a richer way of living those vocations. It has rooted me more deeply in the prayer of the Church and reminded me that holiness is found not only in extraordinary moments, but in the faithful offering of ordinary life.
If you've ever been drawn to the spirituality of St. Benedict, I encourage you to see whether there is a Benedictine monastery near you with an oblate program. It may become one of the greatest blessings of your spiritual life, just as it has been for ours.
Our St. Benedict Home Blessing is a beautiful way to bring the spirit of St. Benedict into your home. Featuring the beloved Benedictine medal and a traditional house blessing, it serves as a daily reminder to ask God's protection over your family and to seek the peace that St. Benedict so faithfully lived. Find yours today at The Catholic Company!
