Calling All Lovers: Rejoiceth in Love!
Calling all lovers! Rejoiceth in love, all affianced couples, married couples, and young people, for this beith thy day!
February 14th is the traditional day of celebration for lovers—the proper occasion for writing love letters and sending tokens of affection to those who have captured your heart. Chocolates, roses, sentimental jewelry, or dinner for two are often what come to mind when we think of Valentine’s Day.
Yet perhaps our vision of this feast is too narrow. Perhaps, by discovering the truth about the real St. Valentine, our understanding of love—and marriage—can be expanded.
St. Valentine and the Age of Courtly Love
The custom of celebrating love on February 14th began in Europe during the High Middle Ages, the golden age of the Roman Catholic Church and the pinnacle of faith among the European people. The liturgical calendar of saints and their feast days shaped everyday life, and it was only natural that the February 14th feast of St. Valentine, patron saint of lovers, would become associated with romance.
This association is captured in immemorial English literature, particularly in Chaucer’s famous lines describing mid-February as the day when birds—and lovers—begin to pair:
“For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne's day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.”
Over time, the custom of men and women writing love letters to their “Valentine” emerged, eventually incorporating sweets, chocolates, and other tokens of affection. But behind this poetic tradition stands a very real man—and a martyr.
Who Was the Real St. Valentine?
St. Valentine of Rome was a 3rd-century priest who lived during the reign of Emperor Claudius II. While much of his life remains shrouded in mystery, what we do know is striking: Valentine ministered to persecuted Christians, upheld the sanctity of marriage, and ultimately gave his life for the Faith.
One account tells us that Claudius banned marriages and engagements in Rome, believing unmarried men made better soldiers. Valentine defied this unjust decree, continuing to perform marriages for lovers in secret. In a society that viewed marriage permissively and often selfishly, Valentine understood it as the Church does...a sacred, sacrificial bond for life.
For this, he was arrested.
While imprisoned, Valentine is said to have restored sight to the blind daughter of his jailer. The miracle led to the conversion of the jailer and his entire household—forty-six people in all. Upon hearing of this, Claudius ordered Valentine’s execution. Before his death, Valentine left a farewell note for the young woman he had befriended, signing it simply: “From your Valentine.”
He was beheaded on February 14th, around the year 269.
More Than a Cupid: A Martyr for Marriage
The image of Cupid—the chubby cherub with his bow and arrow—comes not from Christianity, but from classical mythology. Cupid (also known as Amor or Eros) was the son of Venus and Mars, and his image has lingered in popular culture as a symbol of romantic attraction.
We can appreciate the whimsy of Cupid. But St. Valentine himself was no myth.
He was a real man who died defending the sacrament of marriage and the freedom to live the Christian faith. His feast day should be associated not merely with fleeting romance, but with the enduring strength and sacrificial love of marriage.
A Saint for Our Times
This truth feels especially poignant today. Marriage isn’t easy; far from it. St. Valentine stands as a powerful witness to what love truly requires.
Perhaps this is especially on my mind because in the last few years, two of our daughters were married. During one of the wedding Masses, the priest spoke movingly about the sacrificial nature of marriage, explaining that spouses are called to give themselves to one another as Christ gave Himself for us on the Cross.
No small words.
Yet this is precisely the kind of love St. Valentine defended with his life.
The Relics of St. Valentine: A Living Witness
One of the most compelling connections to the real St. Valentine can be found at Whitefriar Street Church in Dublin, Ireland, where his relics have been venerated since 1836. They were gifted by Pope Gregory XVI to a Carmelite priest, Fr. Spratt, as a sign of solidarity with Irish Catholics emerging from centuries of persecution.
Today, St. Valentine’s relics rest beneath an altar, accompanied by a statue depicting him in the red vestments of a martyr, holding the palm of victory. It is a quiet but powerful reminder: love, when lived fully, is never separated from sacrifice.
Patron of Lovers—and of Courage
St. Valentine is the patron of lovers, engaged and married couples, happy marriages, young people, and even beekeepers. But above all, he is a patron for those striving to live authentic Christian love in difficult times.
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, let us keep the flame of love well-fueled—not merely with gifts and gestures, but with prayer, sacrifice, and grace.
Discover our Catholic Coffee St. Valentine roast!
A Prayer to St. Valentine
(You can keep either or both prayers; I recommend keeping the Whitefriar Street prayer for authority and trimming the poetic one if space is an issue.)
St. Valentine, pray for us.
Had you ever heard the real story of St. Valentine?
How will you make this great saint part of your Valentine’s Day celebration?
